When Perception becomes a grim reality
Have you ever been in a situation, where your partner perceived the situation completely different than you?
Both responders are at the same situation, but emotionally they are in a different place. A typical scenario looks like this…
Officer A is Angry (due to a divorce and other personal issues) and brings it to the call. Their perception of the call is based on what they see based on their own anger. Their Anger is clouding their Situational Awareness.
Officer B sees all the details and people involved, and has a perception of all options are on the table. Their eyes are wide open to have good Situational Awareness to see the big picture and responds accordingly. They are able to connect using empathy communication.
Ramping up the Call
Some responders will ramp up and escalate the call due to their own lack of Emotional Intelligence. They don’t even realize they are angry, frustrated, or in a state of blame.
They project these negative emotions onto someone else, who may not deserve it.
We call it ‘Block-out Syndrome’, when you make a self-serving decision that could harm others, and even make a career ending move. When this happens, it is an officer’s Duty-to-Intervene to Step in, Tap out, and Take over the situation.
Zero regrets means stepping up to do the right thing. Every officer has a right and a Duty to Intervene when a situation gets escalated unnecessarily. ~ Linda Webb
An Officer’s true self
The true self is the center of a person’s being, and total sum of everything that we are. It typically includes the conscious and unconscious minds as well as the psyche and the soul.
The realization of one’s true self can only happen when we become aware of the false ego.
False ego is the idea we create about ourselves, which typically excludes any qualities we don’t wish to accept about ourselves.
Examples of false ego:
- Entitlement complex “It’s all about me.”
- Toxic coworkers
- Lack of integrity
- Display of explicit bias
Examples of true self:
- Consideration for others
- Appreciates the agency
- Utmost integrity
- Shows empathy
When you work on your true self, you live in a space-of-mind, called Reality. You VALUE your life, as well as the VALUE of others. Your true self can make the right decision at any escalated situation because you are in control of your emotions. Other responders, and co-workers can make bad decisions that are self-serving, perceiving only what they want to see. Their reflection in the mirror is a fake perception masked with EGO, Entitlement, and displaying lack of compassion and empathy for others.
When teaching the RITE program to different agencies we ask the class a question… “Can anyone make you MAD?” Almost everyone in the classroom says, “Yes!” The truth is… No one can make you mad.
Your true self is willing to do the work to control your emotions.
Your true self knows when to exercise ‘Duty-to-Intervene’
Duty-to-Intervene means you VALUE yourself and others. Officers have a legal duty to intervene on behalf of a citizen whose rights are being violated. This is the RITE Response…
- Tap Out
- Take Over
Take time to Self-Reflect in your inner mirror to find your true self. Be the lion in the mirror, unafraid to Step in, Tap out, Take over.
Reflections in the Mirror
- Do you act as you see yourself?
- What do you want others to see?
- Do you let you true self come out?
How many hours a week do we spend looking in the mirror? A glance in the morning before hitting the shower; a longer span of time while shaving, putting on make-up, or doing our hair; a quick glance before dressing. Sometimes, in our daily routine, you may even catch a glimpse of yourself through reflections in store windows.
What do you self-reflect on? Do you see what you are putting out there for others to interpret or judge? Is it to assess the progress of our goals and hopes? Are you showing your true self or simply giving others what you think they want to see?
Physical Reflections – When you look at the mirror, what do you see?
- Your body, hair, face?
- Your wrinkles or lack of?
- Your clothing and how good or poor the fit?
- Weight gained or lost?
Emotional Reflections – What emotions do you see about yourself?
- Do you stay angry longer than needed?
- Do you waste your day listening to naysayers?
- Are you grateful?
- Have you thanked someone today?
When a Cat sees the Lion
Do you notice the most important aspects of yourself? There is nothing more empowering than seeing yourself for who you truly are, called true self. Once you obtain this Emotional Self-Awareness, you can take next steps to make change or corrective course to improve yourself in every aspect of your life.
Let your mirror be your guide in helping you find your true self.
(4) steps to help you find your true self
- Become aware of what you wish to change.
- Care about making change
- Stop and Think (self-reflect) – Put action plan in place
- Practice, Practice, Practice.
Let the reflections you see in the mirror be your true self. May you roar like the lion you see in the mirror!
Additional ideas to share with public service employees
RITE Academy Stats
- Trained 950+ agencies on Professional Workplace Culture
- Created over 930 RITE train-the-trainers
- Gave out more than 550,000 RITE Tools for employees
- Provided over 100 newsletters for agencies to give to their employees
- Helped agencies reduce their use-of-force incidents by 65%
- Educated local governments, state, and federal representative on public safety reform
At RITE Academy, we have provided training to fire, police, EMS, 911 operators and corrections officers, EI Tools and Exercises that help each person personally control their emotions. It’s a huge Ah-ha when you finally ‘wake up’ and realize that you have been holding yourself back.
With every class, the LADDER, Stop-Light, and NEW DAY Tools and Banners are included in the training, and left behind for the agency to use. RITE is not a one and done class!
Bring RITE to your agency…