When an officer is dealing with trauma outside the agency, they rarely tell anyone. We tend to keep our personal problems hidden, and tell everyone… “I am Fine.” Mental trauma will grow inside of us. And if we don’t get help, or figure out how to help ourselves, it will get worse over time.
"Hurt people hurt people" means those who have experienced pain, trauma, or harm are more likely to inflict hurt on others.
We try and alleviate our suffering, by projecting our pain onto others, which can be physical violence to emotional or psychological harm. We can’t premeditate the unexpected, or even know when in our career this mental trauma sucker-punch will happen. But when it does happen…
Learning how to handle yourself, without lashing out at others, can save your career, and even your relationships!
Block Out Syndrome is a key element we teach in every class. This happens out of the blue, when you least expect it, and can be triggered by someone just saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to you. This out-of-control emotional state typically stems from something else happening in your life, like the mental trauma sucker-punch.
Often this gut-wrenching mental trauma can cause you to make mental mistakes, that can cause you to hurt yourself, your career, and others.
This Officer’s Story
Last month one of our Trainers was hit with a mental trauma sucker-punch. Below is the personal note he sent us.
May 2024, in the Northwest panhandle of Florida
Last Thursday my mother attempted to take her life due to a gambling addiction, and severe depression that she kept hidden from the family.
You said in the RITE Class I attended a few weeks ago, that we are there for a reason. Now I know that without a shadow of a doubt this is why I was in the class.
While this incident shook me to my core with the news, I was able to manage my emotions thanks to RITE. Every time I became overwhelmed with emotions, I was able to remind myself how grateful I was that my mom was still alive. If I had not had the RITE course, handling this situation would have been a lot worse.
I was able to share with my mom, what I had learned in class, as well has share the emotional tools that I received in class to help her. The RITE class helped me through one of the hardest days of my life and I believe my mom will utilize what I learned to help heal.
Thank You and God Bless
In the above incident, his mom lost herself with addiction, and attempted to end her life. This can happen to anyone, and can cause us to lose our way, and any sense of our purpose.
The mental trauma sucker-punch can happen to anyone, and in public safety it can happen on duty or off duty, personally with family, financial, or health. At any moment, life can hit you with a sucker punch, that can upset and alter your own purpose or Value Plan.
(3) Tips to Build a Value Plan
1. Stop, Think, Breathe
Yes, the unexpected situation may initially cause you to gasp. But take a breath… and increase your space of mind to think more clearly in which direction you need to now take.
Going from a sudden emotional to logical brain, allows you to start to process the situation. It may first feel like a sucker-punch in your gut, but by taking a breath, you can move forward with clarity to handle the situation.
2. Become More Present
If you’re find yourself in a situation where negative emotions like Anger, Blame, and Frustration have taken up space in your head… Tap Yourself Out. Remove yourself from that place.
Get a co-worker to take over. If you project your ANGER onto someone else, it could be a career-ending move. When you are present with your emotions, you can think through the situation. Now you ready to start third step.
3. Put a Plan in place
The Value Plan may be as simple as, “How should I handle this situation best?”
For example, in the above situation, this Officer’s Value plan included the fact that he loved his mother and wanted to help her. When you in a state of Love, it overrides any other negative you may be feeling in the moment.
He was able to put a Value Plan in place because of the LOVE he had for his mother.
When you initiate your Value Plan, you must first understand what it is in life that is important to YOU. (Some examples may be… family, faith, health)
Knowing what you VALUE is just knowing what is most important in your life. It’s Your Value Plan. Then every day practice saying those Values to yourself as a reminder.
PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE YOUR VALUE PLAN
RITE’s Emotional Intelligence Tools has helped many officers build a Value Plan. These EI tools can help you identify what is important in your life, while continuing to move your Value Plan forward with Gratitude.
No one expects you to handle all the burdens that life may throw at you. Having your own Value Plan, can help you better know yourself, so that when the unexpected situation occurs, like the mental trauma sucker punch, you will better prepare to handle it.
About RITE
RITE Training helps ALL public servants improve internal communication that improves officer mental health and wellness. When you learn to control your emotions, you learn to control every situation, and help others that are in need. Contact us on how to bring RITE to your agency.
